Só quando tiveres um carro desses é que vais ficar contente não é? 
Modern Communication Devices
Bill Gates (CEO of Microsoft), Andy Grove(CEO of Intel) and Jerry Sanders (CEO of AMD) were in a high-powered business meeting. During the serious, tense discussions, a beeping noise suddenly is emitted from where Bill is sitting.
Bill says, "Oh, that's my emergency beeper. Gentlemen, excuse me, I really need to take this call." So Bill lifts his wristwatch to his ear and begins talking into the end of his tie. After completing this call, he notices the others are staring at him.
Bill explains, "Oh, this is my new emergency communication system. I have an earpiece built into my watch and a microphone sewn into the end of my tie. That way, I can a take a call anywhere."
The others nod, and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Andy starts beeping. He also states, "Oh, that is my emergency beeper. Excuse me, gentlemen, this must be an important call." So Andy taps his earlobe and begins talking into thin air.
When he completes his call, he notices the others staring at him and explains, "I also have an emergency communication system. But my earpiece is actually implanted in my earlobe, and the microphone is actually embedded in this fake tooth. Isn't that neat?"
The others nod, and the meeting continues.
Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Jerry emits a thunderous fart. He looks up at the others staring at him and says, "Uhh, somebody get me a piece of paper... I'm receiving a fax."
Virtual Bonds In Software
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as AFL 5.0, Soccer 5.4 and Cricket 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail :-(
Regards
Desperate
Dear Desperate,
Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the default applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0.
But remember, even the slightest overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, HappyHour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create "Snoring Loudly" wav files.
DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 OR reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. You will then have to discard all software and consider whether to order new hardware which may be in laptop or desktop configuration, or for maximum portability try handheld or palmtop.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory, employs fuzzy logic and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie 5.3.
Regards
Tech Support
Reasons You Shouldn't Forward Me That Email
1. I eat puppies, kittens, and other cute animals, and sending me pictures of them only makes me hungry for more.
2. I've been on the Internet forever and have already seen/heard/smelled whatever you're sending before.
3. You'd like me to remain your friend.
4. I don't care if the kid dies from cancer.
5. I have a sense of humor and that joke isn't remotely funny.
6. If you forward that message to ten of your friends then a unicorn dies.
7. You'll prove once and for all that I'm smarter than you.
8. I am actually hoping to get robbed/mugged/carjacked.
9. If I wanted to see pictures of babies, I'd buy an Anne Geddes book.
10. If it doesn't have to do with making my penis bigger then I don't want it in my Inbox.
11. Bill Gates already sent me my free Xbox, $1000, and tickets to Disney. I don't want to be greedy.
Têm aqui site, não tou para postar tudo o que lá vejo :p
Há umas mesmo fixes, pessoal que conheça Unix, aconselho
Modern Communication Devices
Bill Gates (CEO of Microsoft), Andy Grove(CEO of Intel) and Jerry Sanders (CEO of AMD) were in a high-powered business meeting. During the serious, tense discussions, a beeping noise suddenly is emitted from where Bill is sitting.
Bill says, "Oh, that's my emergency beeper. Gentlemen, excuse me, I really need to take this call." So Bill lifts his wristwatch to his ear and begins talking into the end of his tie. After completing this call, he notices the others are staring at him.
Bill explains, "Oh, this is my new emergency communication system. I have an earpiece built into my watch and a microphone sewn into the end of my tie. That way, I can a take a call anywhere."
The others nod, and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Andy starts beeping. He also states, "Oh, that is my emergency beeper. Excuse me, gentlemen, this must be an important call." So Andy taps his earlobe and begins talking into thin air.
When he completes his call, he notices the others staring at him and explains, "I also have an emergency communication system. But my earpiece is actually implanted in my earlobe, and the microphone is actually embedded in this fake tooth. Isn't that neat?"
The others nod, and the meeting continues.
Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Jerry emits a thunderous fart. He looks up at the others staring at him and says, "Uhh, somebody get me a piece of paper... I'm receiving a fax."
Virtual Bonds In Software
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as AFL 5.0, Soccer 5.4 and Cricket 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail :-(
Regards
Desperate
Dear Desperate,
Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the default applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0.
But remember, even the slightest overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, HappyHour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create "Snoring Loudly" wav files.
DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 OR reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. You will then have to discard all software and consider whether to order new hardware which may be in laptop or desktop configuration, or for maximum portability try handheld or palmtop.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory, employs fuzzy logic and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie 5.3.
Regards
Tech Support
Reasons You Shouldn't Forward Me That Email
1. I eat puppies, kittens, and other cute animals, and sending me pictures of them only makes me hungry for more.
2. I've been on the Internet forever and have already seen/heard/smelled whatever you're sending before.
3. You'd like me to remain your friend.
4. I don't care if the kid dies from cancer.
5. I have a sense of humor and that joke isn't remotely funny.
6. If you forward that message to ten of your friends then a unicorn dies.
7. You'll prove once and for all that I'm smarter than you.
8. I am actually hoping to get robbed/mugged/carjacked.
9. If I wanted to see pictures of babies, I'd buy an Anne Geddes book.
10. If it doesn't have to do with making my penis bigger then I don't want it in my Inbox.
11. Bill Gates already sent me my free Xbox, $1000, and tickets to Disney. I don't want to be greedy.
Têm aqui site, não tou para postar tudo o que lá vejo :p
Há umas mesmo fixes, pessoal que conheça Unix, aconselho
![[Image: n3taar.gif]](http://i52.tinypic.com/n3taar.gif)