Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Gato perdido.
#11
lindo Smile Desta vez ele queixou-se à grande!
O "E-mails from an asshole" também tem um novo:


My New Jogging Partner
Posted at: 2011-01-03 21:06:38 | 247 comments | Add Comment
Original ad:
i want to get back into shape and am looking for a jogging partner. i always run better if i can keep the pace with someone else as i am sure other fellow runners know. i only work afternoons so i can run during the morning or night, doesnt matter much to me. shoot me an email if you want to be running partners

From Me to *************@*******.org:

Dear New Running Partner,

Hello! My name is Mustafi Chukwuemeka Adetokunbo, but my friends call me Wuemeka. I have just moved to Philadelphia from Kenya and I too am looking for a running partner. I run for twelve miles every morning, and another eight at night. I now run a 4 minute mile. I know this is slow, but no worry, I am aiming to run a 3:50 mile by next month. I most look forward to running with you, my new friend! Please respond with your contact information and where you would like to run. I am not so acquainted with Philadelphia, but I would prefer to run in densely forested areas if you know of any.

Run with you soon,

Wuemeka

From Steve ***** to Me:

wow man are you for real? theres no frickin way i can run a 4 minute mile!!!!!!!

From Me to Steve *****::

Dear Steve,

I am sorry to hear you cannot run a 4 minute mile. I can slow down my pace if you would like. How does a 4 minute 30 second mile sound?

Warm regards,

Wuemeka

From Steve ***** to Me:

HAH! dude i can run a 9 minute mile on a good day. thats it. im not training for the freaking olympics here...

From Me to Steve *****::

Nine minutes? Why are you so slow, friend? Nine minutes! Man oh man, is that slow! In my country, you would not survive! You would be eaten by a lion or speared by a rhino! I am very sorry for you my friend. You remind me of my last running partner Jumu, he was eaten by a cheetah!

Good day to you,

Wuemeka

From Steve ***** to Me:

yeah well this isnt africa this is PHILLY. we have crackheads here, not rhinos or cheetahs or elephants and we sure as shit dont have rainforests. come on man are you stupid?

From Me to Steve *****::

I am not stupid, you are the stupid one my friend! We will see who is the stupid one when you are being chased by a lion! We have a word for fools like you in Kenya - KUMAMAKO!

From Steve ***** to Me:

leave me the fuck alone jumanji!
_________________________

E este também está lindo! Ri-me imenso Biggrin


Rude Phone Salesman
Posted at: 2010-12-05 23:25:01 | 298 comments | Add Comment
Original ad:
White iPhone 3G network 16 gig for sale - great condition comes with usb/home charger and screen protection case. $350 *******@gmail.com

From Me to *******@gmail.com (Dec 6 9:38 PM):

Hey,

Is your iPhone still available?

Mike

From *******@gmail.com to Me (Dec 7 3:24 AM):

yes.

From Me to *******@gmail.com (Dec 7 3:25 AM):

What the hell is wrong with you? Do you have any idea what time it is?

From *******@gmail.com to Me (Dec 7 3:29 AM):

uh...its like 3:30. whats the problem?

From Me to *******@gmail.com (Dec 7 3:34 AM):

Yeah, 3:30 in the morning, prick! Both my wife and I have to get up for work at 6 and you just woke us up. My wife suffers from sleep anxiety and probably won't be able to fall back asleep. Couldn't this have waited until the morning?

From *******@gmail.com to Me (Dec 7 3:37 AM):

how is that my fault? its not like i called you. i just got home from the bar and saw your email so i responded. its email...who cares what time it is? how could that wake you up?

From Me to *******@gmail.com (Dec 7 3:42 AM):

Oh, so in your drunken stupor you decided it would be a good idea to wake up my entire family at 3:30 in the morning? I have my computer hooked up to a 7.1 surround sound system, and Outlook plays a sound every time I receive an e-mail. It damn near rattled the house when you sent it. You woke up our three month old baby and now he is crying.

I have a meeting with some big-time clients today, and now I am going to be falling asleep in the meeting. Thanks a lot, douchebag.

From *******@gmail.com to Me (Dec 7 3:44 AM):

hey look faggot its not my fucking fault you leave your computer on loud as fuck in the middle of the night. you must be real fuckin dumb. you have a baby and a wife with sleep problems and you think that is a good idea? fuck you guy

From Me to *******@gmail.com (Dec 7 3:48 AM):

I don't like your attitude, pal. First you wake up my entire family, and now you curse me out? This is unacceptable. By the way, my wife was so distraught from you waking her up that she accidentally microwaved our baby's milk too long. The baby was scalded with burning hot milk, and now we have to go to the hospital. I hope you are happy with yourself. Is this how you normally sell iPhones on the internet?

From *******@gmail.com to Me (Dec 7 3:55 AM):

yes, i always sell phones by waking up idiot families and burning babies with milk...NO

boy are you fucking retarded! fyi this is the first and last time i will ever try selling something online, now i know why peope dont use this shit- because only RETARDS use it!
De todos os fóruns que conheço, este é um deles.
Reply


Messages In This Thread
Gato perdido. - by Cobaia - 26-06-2010, 22:55
RE: Gato perdido. - by Kronopt - 27-06-2010, 00:17
RE: Gato perdido. - by Rufferto - 27-06-2010, 15:00
RE: Gato perdido. - by Cobaia - 27-06-2010, 15:30
RE: Gato perdido. - by Rufferto - 27-06-2010, 16:03
RE: Gato perdido. - by Cobaia - 27-06-2010, 22:08
RE: Gato perdido. - by Klawfive - 27-06-2010, 17:46
RE: Gato perdido. - by FoxRS - 28-06-2010, 00:28
RE: Gato perdido. - by Rufferto - 28-06-2010, 07:38
RE: Gato perdido. - by Cobaia - 05-02-2011, 22:39
RE: Gato perdido. - by FoxRS - 06-02-2011, 16:04
RE: Gato perdido. - by Rufferto - 07-02-2011, 14:07
RE: Gato perdido. - by Cobaia - 13-04-2011, 18:47
RE: Gato perdido. - by Rufferto - 14-04-2011, 08:08
RE: Gato perdido. - by FoxRS - 14-04-2011, 08:52
RE: Gato perdido. - by Cobaia - 17-05-2012, 12:12
RE: Gato perdido. - by Rufferto - 17-05-2012, 16:28

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)